What The Fuck, Humans?

It has taken me a couple of days to ponder what I've wanted to say about the godawful tragedy in Connecticut.  I'm sure you might have heard about it, unless you're living under a rock or something.

Anyway, I don't know if I can accurately express how I feel.  A lot of sadness and pain, but not anywhere close to what the parents and loved ones of the victims are feeling.  Terror, because my son is the same age as some of those kids and goes to a public school.  Rage, because so many people are using this tragedy as a fucking platform to air their rotten opinions or gain footholds in how things should be run.

I just want to know......WHY?  Why the hell were these children and their caretakers cut down like that?  What the fuck, man?  Why did this obviously unstable person have access to these types of weapons?

Yes, we can stand here and say that these murders happen all over the world, and in worse numbers, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened, does it?  It doesn't bring anyone back or stop their loved one's hearts from breaking, right?

And holy hell, don't even get me started on the fuckheads who say this happened because their god isn't allowed in schools anymore.  I just want to cunt punt each and every one of them, because that is some fucking bullshit.  So you're saying your god is a fucking bitch diva queen who will pout because he's not allowed somewhere and retaliate by taking the lives of the innocents?  Man, get the fuck out of here with that pile of horseshit.

My heart just aches tonight.  It's been aching since I heard about it on Friday.  I started tearing myself apart with "what-ifs" on Saturday night.  What if this had been my son....what if this had been his school, his classroom, his classmates, his teacher, his principal.....what if I had lost my little boy.....god, even thinking about it is making me emotional.  And knowing that these thoughts are making me feel like this..........then what the hell are the actual events doing to the people of Newtown?

This whole thing is just like a nightmare, and I wish it was something that could be solved by waking up.

But it's not.  It's reality, and a scary fucking reality at that.

Christ.