Overreacting

Ever since I got out of the hospital last week, I've been feeling.....I guess you could call it "off".  Like my body isn't quite working right, something is unbalanced, my chakras aren't aligned, etc.  I know that when I woke up last Saturday morning, it was because of a dreadful pain in my neck that freaked me out.  I managed to finally get comfortable and fall back asleep, but my neck has been bothering me ever since.  Couple that with headaches and a general feeling of anxiety, and you have a recipe for one annoyed Jess.

Yesterday was the first day that I actually felt decent.  We went grocery shopping, spent way too much money (food is getting expensive though....*sigh*), and came back to watch the new episode of Doctor Who (which I can't get enough of....this is all my friend's fault).  I was feeling a bit tired, but no headache, which was great, because the headaches were really starting to piss me off.  They would start in my neck and just go up and it really felt like a band of pain around my head.  They wouldn't stop until I took ibuprofen or Doan's.  I couldn't get comfortable when lying down, so I tossed and turned until the wee hours of the morning.  So yesterday was like a blessing.  Then we have today.

I woke up feeling fine, ready to clean the house and all that jazz.  I made some coffee, popped an Aleve, and got to work.  It was about two hours later that I just started feeling weird and jittery.  I figured that my caffeine high was wearing off, so I ate some lunch.  It didn't help.  I felt so strange.  There was a warm sensation in my chest, not a burning pain, but just....warmth.  My throat was tightening up.  I thought I was having an asthma attack, so I hit my rescue inhaler.  It didn't work.  My mind started freaking out and thinking of the worst possibilities.  I sprawled on my bed and started Googling my symptoms.  Possibilities: acid reflux/heartburn, angina, or an anxiety attack.  Joy.

I ruled out angina because my heart was just examined last week and I didn't have any other symptoms.  I also ruled out acid reflux/heartburn because, to me, it just didn't fit.  So that left me with anxiety.  Thinking that my body was reverting back to that stage where I was just a giant puddle of emotions made me flip my shit.  I couldn't deal with the thought of having to go back to being anxious and panicky all the time.  So I tried calming myself by resting on the bed and breathing calmly.  It didn't work.  So I just cried.  Yeah, that didn't make anything any better, but I couldn't help it.  Resigning myself to having panic attacks again, I continued doing what I had to do.   It took me nine freakin' hours to clean my house because I kept having to stop and rest and flip out and all that.

After dinner, I still felt mega crappy.  I gave the last option (acid reflux) some thought and took some lovely liquid chalk antacid.

It fucking worked.

So essentially, I was suffering and wigging out over what amounted to heartburn.  I know it is heartburn because I just drank some orange juice and the feelings came back, along with some burning in my stomach.  Way to go, dumbass.

I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself.  I did go through some shit this week that made me really rethink how I run my body and what is going on with it.

I still feel pretty stupid, though.