No Treats, Just A Trick

Tonight was the night that I was going to finish up the questions from that silly survey.  You know, the sex one.

I can't even bring myself to do that.

When I picked up the mail earlier, there was one thing.  From the hospital.  Another bill.

For $557.

Because it would make entirely too much sense for them to bill me all at once.  This one is for the August hospital fiasco, which makes me wonder if another will be forthcoming for the September bullshit.  I honestly don't know.  Their billing is so fucking screwy that I really wouldn't be surprised to be getting bills from them in like six months.

What I do know is this:

When I saw what it was, complete and utter despair washed over my body, so much so that I couldn't move for a minute.  I eventually did, because I had to go get my son from school, but it was a hard walk, and I had a difficult time holding back the tears.  That's pretty much how it was (and still is) tonight: me holding back my emotions and just trying to stay positive.

Such a difficult task, though.

I am facing about $30,000 of debt.  It is not my husband's, and I will not include him in the blame, even if he thinks he should be held accountable alongside me.  That won't happen.

I've looked into bankruptcy, but there is no way to do it with a guarantee that everything will be let go.  It also costs a bundle, which is hilarious when you think about it.

So now I'm waiting for answers.  Answers from the hospital about some medical bills, answers from my mother-in-law about what the hell we should do, answers about employment opportunities that never seem to pan out.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore.  My frustration and blood pressure are at an all time high.  I'm out of options and am pretty much hoping for a miracle now.

I guess I really have no right to bitch about this when so much is going on in the East, when people are being illegally thrown out of their homes while facing deadly diseases, when children are going hungry each night.  I have a place to live, food to eat, warm clothes, and so many other things that are taken for granted.

But I feel like I've just been shit on, and I really can't take it anymore.

Happy Halloween.