Earlier, I was lying on the bed watching my husband put his laundry away (yes, men do this) and making small talk. Since I'm a smartass, and I was in the perfect position, I started imitating what I would do if we had a threesome with another guy. My husband was giving me his, "holy hell, you're fucking weird" look. So I was talking about the logistics of it all and somehow we got around to having another woman in this threesome instead of another man. I said that it wouldn't matter so long as she had a strap-on (I feel I really don't have to explain what a strap-on is). My husband was dying at this point and giving me that look again. I maintained that it didn't matter because we could get the same action has having a m/m/f threesome. Also, I could have the best of both worlds, tuna and sausage. My husband lost all composure at that statement.
I continued on with this line of thinking, daring him to prove me wrong. He couldn't. He also couldn't deny what I said about men having no problems with lesbians using strap-ons in porn. No denials, no reasons as to why that was different, nothing. Just a pat, "You're weird" and a walk away. Uh huh. Ah, my conservative Asian husband. I see the prude still runs strong in him, even though I know he's a porn watcher.
Anyway, I have decided to post some questions and leave the comments open to whatever crosses anyone's mind. You can leave them anonymously, because I don't track where they are coming from (I really have no reason to, since I know most of the people that comment).
Here are my questions:
- Why are men so freaked out about being around another guy in a threesome?
- Why is it okay to watch lesbian porn but not gay porn?
- Why is it not okay to talk about sex?
- Why must most women act like prudes?
- When did sex between consenting adults become a bad thing?
- Why the hell am I thinking about threesomes all the time?
- Where can I buy a cheap riding crop to replace my broken one?
In order:
ReplyDeleteintimidation.
Technically les is gay porn so. If you're going m/m, it don't tickle my fancy.
Have you met me?
Because if you aren't a prude, you're either a ball buster/bitch or slut.
As far as I know it isn't.
That's my fault.
Frenchy's. You don't want cheap anyway. Save your money, buy a quality crop.
1) Guys, like Venkman in Ghost-busters, don't want to cross the streams. Guys are more vulnerable when teh sex is about to happen and when there's more than one weiner it's..disconcerting.
ReplyDelete2) Straight guys like watching 2 naked women go at it, most straight guys anyway. Watching two naked guys do anal is, well, for gay guys and some straight women. The less penis the better.
3)It is okay to talk about sex, I personally love talking about sex.
4) Women, some, think that talk about sex gives the idea that they're slutty.
5) You're horny and think about getting banged on both ends? I wonder what it would feel like having two hot female tongues on my dick. lol
6) Riding crop? Adam and eve dot com maybe?
Invest in the good riding crop, then if the Boy ever goes into English or jumping you have one, just don't tell him where it has been ;)Love this little riding hop on Hobson in the Western Burbs.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you can't stop thinking about me. It's rather obvious from your post. I shall plot dark plots for us. Yes, yes, yes.
ReplyDelete