Frustrations

Jobs shouldn't be this hard to find.

Every day that passes without either of us being gainfully employed just frustrates me to no end.  Well, not so much me being unemployed, because I know that I'm not suited for shit.  But my husband.  He's employable.  He's smart.  He knows what's up and how to get shit done.

I feel like we've exhausted every possible outlet.  I scour the want ads and fucking Craigslist every day.  Nothing.  What the fuck, people?  How the fuck are we supposed to get experience if you won't hire?

I guess this is the part where the mild panic starts to set in.  No immediate prospects of a full-time, permanent, living wage, insurance giving job.  Yes, there are opportunities, but they're all temporary.  They pay well, but they're not full-time.  None offer insurance, which is a very important part of all of this, since my husband has a gimp eye.  Yeah, that's probably not PC, but whatever.  It's fucked up.  It needs a shit ton of drops to be even 20% normal and not explode-y.

I just need something to give.  I can't keep going to bed with the thoughts of how the hell we're going to survive in my head.  I keep trying to tell myself that we're so much better off than a good portion of the population, but it doesn't help.  Yes, we have a guaranteed place to live.  We will have insurance soon, thanks to my in-laws.  We will probably be fine for bills and groceries and such, because we'll have unemployment and help from the state, I'm sure.  It's just fucking scary and frustrating.

I feel like I'm whining too much, but all of it is annoying.  No one should ever have to feel like this or freak out like this.  And it's not like my bills are magically going to go away because we don't have gainful employment.  I think that is a major part of my freaking out.  I know how much I have to pay in hospital bills and debt each month.  I know that we may not have enough to cover it.  I know that that will make our credit ratings go straight to the crapper.

There is also something else that is frustrating me beyond all measure, but I can't talk about it yet.  After the first of the month, then yes.  Open season, unless I get arrested for something.  Which is a possibility.

Oooooh, intrigue.

I'm drunk and going to go harass my friends now.