The Beginning Of My Lap Band Journey

Yesterday I had my consult appointment with the surgeon. I was a bit scared of it all, thinking that he might find fault with me and that he would deny me. So I get to the hospital early, only to find that the Lap Band Clinic is not in the hospital. Whoops. It is across the street. So I head over thar, and find my way up to the office. The receptionist was a lovely woman who amused the hell out of me because she was perturbed by our answering machine message at home. It is rather rude, and I told my husband to change it, but I don't know if he has yet. But I digress...

So I wait around to see the surgeon and the dietitian. I am charged a whopping $2 co-pay (thank you, ObamafascistsocialistIslamKenyan healthcare program of Illinois....and really, people are fighting against an option like this?) for this visit. I'm finally called back to a room to be weighed on what I lovingly call a "cattle scale". Seriously, it's like a platform on the floor. I'm down to 395 (told you my weight is stupid), which didn't make me feel any better, but the nurse wasn't fazed by this at all. I guess you get used to the morbid obesity after awhile. So I wait around to see someone, and in walks the cheery nurse/dietitian lady from the seminar last month, which I completely neglected to write about. All you need to know is that the surgeon was hot, he was no nonsense, and some lady walked out after being informed she couldn't eat Big Macs after surgery. HA. But I digress again...

Anyway, the nurse lady takes my history, bows down to me for bringing her a list of the medicines I take (I'm way too prepared), and starts talking to me about why I want the surgery. She seemed pleased with my answers and we started talking about how easy the surgery is. She is also a Lap Band wearer, three years now, in her mid-fifties, and totally doesn't even look it. I freakin' adored her. Very cheerful and bubbly, which usually grates on my nerves, but it just seemed so natural with her. So after talking with her for about an hour, she goes off to get the surgeon. At this point I'm thinking, I bet this guy is going to be an ass and dislike me and not approve me. I was wrong.

He was very blunt, but not in a harsh way. He told me that I was a perfect candidate for the surgery: horrible BMI, but still active, has semi-normal eating habits, but splurges once in a while, and isn't completely immobile yet. So he agreed to do the surgery. I was completely giddy. He hands me the orders for all the fun tests: blood, urine, EKG, and xrays. I had to head back to the hospital for those again. So more walking! But it is good for me!

I managed to get all of those tests done yesterday and I have to go meet with a psychologist (wooo) on Thursday so he can make sure I'm sane enough to go through with this. The surgeon and the dietitian also want me to have a sleep study because I mentioned abnormal snoring when I lay on my stomach. So that is scheduled for November 17th. I also have to go through four pre-op class/workshops to understand better eating and what I will be going through. Once that is done, I will get a surgery date and begin a liquid diet for 2-3 weeks. Yes, that is right. Liquids, mainly weight loss shakes, water, and milk. Fun times.

So that is what is going on with the surgery. The updates will happen as things with the surgery happen. I still have other non-surgery posts to put up. Just so lazy....