Out With The Old

So I didn’t get a chance to write down a New Year’s Eve post because we actually went somewhere. Besides, I look back at 2010 the way one looks at a fresh pile of dog crap (with disgust, unless you‘re a freak). However, since I feel I should, I’ll give a rundown of my year, with my usual sarcasm thrown in. Here we go:

January: The year started off shitty. I should have known that that would set the tone for the rest of the year. First off, my family dog died. Then my dad became ill. Then I was still fighting to get my Lap Band. Blah!

February: Eh, some good. My child’s fifth birthday. We had money(!). Then we had to give it all to my in-laws. Fuck. My foot continued to hurt because I was (and still am, in my opinion) a fat lardass.

March: In with the crazy! Some guy that I used to know and thought I loved back in the day returned to my life again with some fun on his personal message board. It was one post that called me “crazy” and a “nutcase”. All this because I refused to let him back into my life. I reported him for it and his board was shut down. Sucks when you’re held accountable for your own actions. Oh well. The month ended well with the news that I’d be getting my Lap Band in April.

April: The first two weeks of this month were devoted to the liquid diet I had to be on before surgery. I managed to pull off 27 pounds in 14 days. I was stoked. After the surgery, I dealt with some really bad gas bloat and air trapped in body cavities from the surgery. It sucked a ball.

May: Eh, not much, good or bad. My friends and myself started planning a trip to Ohio to see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, get trashed, and sleep in. I was thrilled, because I hadn’t seen my one friend in four years, and I’d be meeting another one in person for the first time. But all that changed in the next month.

June: This whole fucking month sucked ass. I can’t stand to think of it now. Hell, I can’t really stand to think of it at all. Fuck it.

July: Still bleh, but not as bad. I stayed in California until the end of the month. My husband’s retina detached, I received a scathing email questioning my parenting skills from someone I’m related to by marriage, and I pretty much went crazy. It was fun. Our month ended with a road trip through the Southwest and back home to Chicago, just me, the boy, and my dad. We had a blast.

August: This month was great and awful. It was grawful. It was great because I finally, FINALLY got to visit my friend after four years. This was just dumb on my part because we only live about four hours away from each other, but I never made the effort to visit (except once) before that. So I was able to hang with him and his wife (who is now another close friend. Yay friends! I’m such a dork.) for the weekend. The awful part was the fact that the Friday before this weekend (like the DAY BEFORE), I had to go in for surgery to fix my Lap Band. So while my trip was great, I was also recovering from surgery. Of course, I wasn’t in so much pain or so helpless that I couldn’t pack away the booze. I have problems.

September: Family drama. ‘Nuff said. School also started for my child, and he is now in Kindergarten. He’s gone for five hours each day, which is good. Sounds mean, but we get sick of each other if we hang out together all day. Trust me. I’m coming off of two weeks of having him home, and some of those days have been less than pleasant.

October: Yay! Another visit to see my friends. Boo! Another fucking surgery to repair my Lap Band! Yeah, it broke again. I was in tears when I found out about it. Luckily, the surgery went smoothly, and it has held so far. I am so glad, because I really do not want anymore surgery, anesthesia, drafty hospital gowns, or IVs for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time. If ever again. Fut dat.

November: I finished with my psychologist. We both felt I had come to a point where I was good with my life, so we parted ways. I’m glad I saw her for almost two years, and I have the reassurance that I can come back to her if I need to. Beyond that, just the usual holiday preparations this month for Thanksgiving….oh wait, nope. Forget the preparations, we’re going to NEW YORK CITY!!!! Total awesomeness. Husband’s friend invited us to his house for the holiday, so we got to go out there. It was a fan-fucking-tastic trip…..until my husband got pulled over in Ohio for speeding. Shit. At least the cop (female) was hot.

December: At the end of November, I decided I wanted to go all out for Christmas. So I slowly started buying up decorations and whatnot. We decorated right after we came home from New York. The weekend of the 9th (I started my weekend on a Thursday, HA!), I went to visit my friends again (yay!), and we had a blast all around. Unfortunately, the weekend ended on a shitty note with the news that my grandmother was dying. Oh, and a wicked snowstorm that delayed my train for five hours. My grandmother passed away on the 16th, and I really just lost all heart for the holidays. I did it because of my son, but the vibe wasn’t there. December is a shitty month to me now and I just really fucking hate it.

And we ended the month at my friends house again. The kids got to play with each other, I got drunk, and we all lived to ring in 2011.

So yeah, sucky year all around, with the exception of the trip to New York and the fact that I grew closer to two awesome people who accepted my crazy ass into their home. You guys rock, and thank you for all that you have done.

And that was my year. Hopefully this year will be better, or else I’ll go bat shit insane.